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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you talk to your dad about this?
Is there middle ground where they could bond over certain activities? As your son gets a little older, do you think he'll calm down a bit?[/quote]

they did get along when they did things together - it's just a general sense of disapproval my dad had for him. There was this astonished disapproval in his tone when my son would get frustrated and stop doing something, or would jump around, or would repeatedly sing a nonsense phrase.  Perhaps my son will be calmer when he is older, but it sucks that he has to be different.  Why can't my dad, like me, enjoy him for who he is (I do shut down the obnoxious stuff - that is just a behavioral manifestation of his enthusiasm and so I do work to have have him control it).

After I wrote this, [b]I thought maybe this is more about me feeling subtly rejecte by my dad via his rejection of my son[/b].  These things are always complicated . . .

Annoyingly, he talked about a colleague's 4 year old daughter who goes to avant guard poetry readings with her parents and sits there quietly (I think this was supposed to be about the great exposure the child is getting, but all I heard was the sits there quietly part)

[/quote]

I think you hit the nail on the head with the statement above.  I have never had a perfect relationship with my parents, but when my kids were born my parents never really embraced them.  I also have one son who is a very active, energetic child.  Honestly, he's awesome and hilarious and really fun.  But my parents are not terribly interested in him and I can sometimes sense their judgment/disdain.  For me, at the end of the day he (my son) is an extension of me and if they can't love him for who he is, then it's personal to me.  They have rejected part of me.  It has changed my relationship with them forever and on some level, I will never forgive them.

And yes, I told my father this one day.  And he said something appropriate but clearly didn't much care and it didn't really change anything.  People are who they are and do the best they can.  So I think you have to try as best you can to accept how your dad shows up.  [/quote]

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