Reply to What do I say to my MIL who is dying?

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[quote=Anonymous]Write it down in a letter or card. My family isn't big on emotion or feelings. The last time I knew I'd see my dad before he moved (he was terminal) I stayed up for hours and wrote him a 6 page letter. I told him lots of my memories of him/us and thanked him for many of the things he did for me. Of course afterwards I realized that I left out so many but I know he knew it came from the heart and I hope that it portrayed how much I loved him and how I thought he was a wonderful father. 
We never spoke of the letter, but my mom did tell me that my dad had her read it to him every night. 
The thing about terminal cancer is that you are always waiting (not really the right word) for the end. I kept thinking that it would be any day, but it's a progression. First he stopped eating, then he lost more and more weight. A week before he died he was still sitting up in bed having comversations. Then he couldn't get out of bed anymore. Then he stopped drinking and then he finally fell into a coma like state. I wish it had been quicker and he didn't have to suffer so much. 
I'm rambling, but please if you can't say the words, write them down for your MIL to read. I think it's a very basic human instinct to want to know that your life mattered to others. That you had a purpose and were loved. 
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