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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "possibly adopting 3-year-old nephew"
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[quote=Anonymous]My husband's sister had an unexpected pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful little boy almost 3 years ago. They live overseas and we don't know the child very well. Since he was born the sister has struggled with being a parent. She and her boyfriend think of him and treat him like he's nothing more than an annoyance. She tells my DH how much she hates being a parent, that the boy is a "terrible child" and that "nobody likes him expect one of the dogs". She admits to hitting the child and from what we've heard/seen she doesn't give much affection to him. When we've visited, the child has always been sweet and wonderful. He's about to turn 3, so of course he has the typical tantrums and occasional difficulties, but very normal behavior. Other family members say that the child is just a typical little kid, but his parents just don't want him. DH got a phone call from his sister a few weeks ago and she said she can't take it anymore, can't stand being a parent and her and her boyfriend have considered giving him up for adoption. She wants out. After a lot of discussion, DH and I offered to take him for the summer. We have three kids of our own and my DH is visiting his family right now (pre-planned trip) and if all goes as planned, he'll be flying back with this little boy. He'll be staying with us for 8 weeks and then his grandfather will fly here and bring him back home. I'm nervous for several reasons.... 1. 8 weeks is a long time and will the boy be traumatized being away from home so long? 2. Will this negatively impact my own kids and the dynamics of my family? 3. My DH is from another country...so this child doesn't speak English. I don't speak his native language very well. My children will be able to communicate with him, but it'll be hard for me. 4. I'm worried about the financial cost of having another kid in daycare/camp. We're living very tight money-wise and the sister/boyfriend are not in any position to help with money. 5. Some family members and friends think that she won't want him back after the 8 weeks. That this is like a "trial adoption" and we could end up with him permanently. I'm not against adopting the boy, but it's a lot to consider. Has anyone adopted a young child from a family member? Or has taken care of another child for extended periods of time? I'd appreciate any advice or similar stories. Thank you. [/quote]
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