Reply to Wife doesn't want to share office space

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[quote=Anonymous]
My wife and I moved into our house a few years ago. There's two extra rooms that could be used as guest bedrooms or an office. My wife decided one would be a guest bedroom and the other room an office. I went along with this decision.

Before we could set up an office she transformed the space into a storage space for paper and miscellaneous furniture. When I would ask her about using the space she would tell me she didn't have time to move her stuff. Because she had her stuff in the office I put a desk in the basement so that I could sit ergnomically correct when working. I don't like working in the basement because it is too cold in the winter and summer (to be comfortable upstairs one will be cold in the basement).

The office is big enough for two desks and a loveseat.

Recently my wife paid (our finances are separate) to have the office redone (i.e. new flooring and light fixtures). She did not consult me about this in anyway, only  told me there would be contractors in our home. When I asked when they would be finished so I could move my desk into the space she said "there's no room for your desk because I want to put a couch tin there. You can stay in the basement.  I want my own private space. If we share the space we will argue about keeping quiet, etc."

I told her she couldn't unilaterally take over a room without consulting me. She said she could because she paid for it. I told her I pay the mortgage and anyway this is no way to run a marriage with "your money" and "my money."

I feel since the space is big enough for both of us we should share it. If someone wants their own private space, that person should convert the inferior space (e.g. basement) into their personal space. Shortly thereafter I moved my desk into the office space.

She is furious.

Clearly we have other issues besides using office space.  She is very bossy and will make decisions and try to dictate to me frequently. I call her on it, but as the example above shows it has little effect.

If the roles were reversed I would have asked her if it would be ok for me to use the space as my personal office. I would not assume that she should stay in the basement. I also wouldn't assume that she should be the one to move into the basement if I want my own personal room.

Am I looking at this incorrectly?

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