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[quote=Anonymous]Your mother lives in a state of anxiety and dread which makes her life miserable. Others must be warned how catastrophic and painful life is. The ice cream example is perfect.  Your daughter HAS to understand that she is walking on the edge of a precipice when she is choosing ice cream (what most people would regard as a fun errand).  But no -- it's really a horrible disaster looming in front of this precious child!  They will not have her chosen flavor and her spirit will be crushed!

She reads every expression on your face as negative because she projects.

I don't have a lot of advice for you, except that trying to be empathetic to the scared little girl she must have been once helps me with my own mother.

Your mother was probably continually blamed as a child.  There were no accidents, ever.  Everything was someone's fault.  She was yelled at for minor mistakes or just because she was around.  If she asked for orange soda and there was none in the house, her mother (probably) screamed at her just for asking, or for being spoiled, or for not asking at the grocery store, or just because mom was tired and overworked.  Any initiative was stifled.  She became anxious because any alternative  she chose in any situation was wrong.  Merely expressing a thought could be dangerous.

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