Reply to When/why do mother-daughter relationships go bad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know, OP but I wonder, too.  I love my mother but she drives me crazy.  It is just super intense (made even more so because she raised me on her own and I'm an only child, so there are just two of us).  But the weird thing is that my daughter is only 3 and I swear that it has already started with us.  She behaves completely differently with me than with my husband.  And I have a son who is completely different from my daughter.  Son often hugs me and tells me he loves me unprompted whereas if I try to hug daughter, she pushes me away and says no.  She just pushes my buttons and I push hers.  It scares the crap out of me because I want to have a good relationship with her when she's older but I honestly am afraid that I won't.[/quote]

I'd lean towards that is how toddlers act and it ebbs and flows. 
I don't think the "relationships go bad" until maybe end of elementary school, if at all.  
My mother and I are quite opposite - she is illogical, super sunny personality, talks to everyone, and very defensive when she messes up.  Being the opposite might be good for Dad but not for me the daughter.  Things were civil through age 18 at home, if anything I'd just be embarrassed.  But now as an adult, and in my 20s and 30s, I could never go to her for advice or even venting about situations at work or whatever because while she'd be my #1 cheerleader, she just didn't listen, process or actually reply to anything I was saying.  Everything from planning visits, my wedding, babysitting my kids just ends up in a big mess of a conversation and sometimes a fight.  My husband, brother and I are now suspecting mild dementia, that may have been developing for awhile. Though my Dad doesn't think so. [/quote]

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