Reply to I had an emotional affair but now I'm ready to divorce my wife because she can't get over it

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Reply to "I had an emotional affair but now I'm ready to divorce my wife because she can't get over it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]this is the poser from 13:41 again.  So wanted I wanted to say as a conclusion is... the truth of the matter is, she has a right to feel as hurt/abandoned/mistrusting as she feels. And at this point, you have the right to feel as you have described. You're both "right." And you both need to heal from it. The first step is deciding together that you can't stay in the same emotional place where you both are. You both need to move on. Whether that's together or separately. I for one think that it's worth going to a few therapy sessions to try to determine which way you want to head in.  Obviously there are some issues that you both need to work on that go above and beyond the emotional affair and her response to it. You either can work on those and move forward or you can't.  [/quote]

+1 million

I'm a DW whose husband had an actual physical affair.  Everything this posters says (in both posts) is spot on.

at 6 months out, with counseling, you've reached the point where you can say, ok, I understand where you are and ho you feel.  And I am terribly, terribly sorry that my actions have put us in this place.  But we are rapidly reaching the point where the ball is in your court to make a decision - are we going to get past this, or not?  Are we building a new marriage, or are we not?  And if you don't think you can ever get past this, I am terribly sorry about that.  But that means we have to decide that moving forward means separating our lives.

I think your wife is stuck.  If your counselor is good, the counselor should be moving you all forward to a new place.

At the same time, I can't emphasize enough how hard it is to be the wronged party.

All of this is predicated, of course, on you genuinely being remorseful, open, and honest.  [/quote]

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