Reply to I had an emotional affair but now I'm ready to divorce my wife because she can't get over it

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Reply to "I had an emotional affair but now I'm ready to divorce my wife because she can't get over it"

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[quote=Anonymous]So.... this happened to me only I was in your wife's shoes. An emotional affair. I was devastated. But we went to therapy. I have never been to therapy before and never valued it and never thought it was for me. Our lives are completely better for it.

It gave me a place where I could say as many times as I needed to that I felt betrayed, wronged, abandoned, etc. And it felt so good to have a third party validate those feelings. And it gave him a place to say EXACTLY the things that you've said above. That he felt that he was never going to get a fresh start, that he could never be sorry enough, that he was feeling like "why bother if this is never going to get better."  I'm sure he probably said it to me before. Maybe I didn't hear it. Maybe he didn't really say it. But hearing it in therapy really helped. It actually gave me back the power/safety that I had lost because I realized that it was my decision as to whether I was going to forgive him and move on, whether I wanted to decide to trust him again or not. Therapy really forced me (or allowed me) to see that I had a choice to make. To stop sitting there in a hellish no-man's land where I felt abandoned and unloved and mistrustful and decide whether I wanted to try again/move forward or not. I decided I wanted to try. And we did. And our relationship is 1000 stronger. All this for 2-3 months of weekly one hour therapy. BEST DECISION OF OUR LIVES.[/quote]

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