Reply to my kid is a lot like me and i don't think it's good

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "my kid is a lot like me and i don't think it's good"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Show empathy and understanding. Give  that kid some extra hugs and cuddles at bedtime. 
2.  Use your life experience/wisdom to help guide her through the rough spots. This is when your 20/20 hindsight helps. 
3. Teach resilience.

You can do it. [/quote]

OP here; i'm definitely trying with the extra hugs and cuddles.... but its hard for me to remember what helped (nothing? i don't recall my parents doing anything in particular - i felt like our family were all the odd-ones-out). I don't even know what hindsight taught me that would apply to a little kid. I think I know how to be a more aware, involved mom and I have all these ideas on concrete things to do - like encouraging the bus for independence, like having her spend time with babysitters, like having playdates, etc, but I can't come up with the words to help her, if that makes sense.[/quote]

I'm that PP and I think you are doing great, because it's on your radar and you are trying.    Nobody's perfect, remember.  There's a really great book out there called "Raising Resilient Children."  If you like reading parenting books, I highly recommend that.  Camp, for example, did she say why she didn't want to go?  Can she articulate that?  Teaching her to be resilient would help her approach situations she doesn't particularly care for with a plan for how to deal with it.  At that age, I hated being outside for camp all day, too hot, so I chose the craft option in the afternoons even though I don't really like crafts.   But I felt empowered by my "problem solving," and that goes a long way to making someone more confident and able to approach new situations.   And these things take time.

I practice with my son showing him how to be a problem solver, praising him when he does solve a problem, and when he brings a problem to me, I ask him first what his approach may be.  They often come up with great, effective answers.   But if not, I try to guide a bit.   But the more control you can give your kid over her choices, the better.   With camp again, if you can figure out what bugs her about it, you can pick a budget for the next camp and give her some choices within that budget (and transportation availability of course).

But putting the idea in her head that she's a problem solver goes a long way, in my experience.   With new situations, anxiety, and facing bigger challenges.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics