Reply to Apparently I don't have the relationship with my ILs that I thought I did.

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Reply to "Apparently I don't have the relationship with my ILs that I thought I did."

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks to everyone who offered thoughtful insight.

In the light of day things really do seem much better and it's not the huge deal it felt like in the middle of the night when I woke up worried about it. Yes, the BILs and SILs who were hearing these things were indeed sticking up for me and earning some smack talking of their own, but in the end I can only be who I am and I'll continue to be in the best relationship with them that I can.

I'm not going to go with a big deal conversation about it - my sense is that for this situation, especially being so far away and being a lot of he-said she-said would only incite defensiveness as it has in the past when they've been called on it. They don't apologize, only explain why so and so was wrong for calling them on whatever.

DH has told me again this morning that MIL is who she is, dissects even her dearest friends, and has only ever had good things to say about me to him. I can't change her MO so there's really no point in worrying about it anymore. I'm not perfect obviously, but I can fairly say that I'm always deliberately at my best with them and will continue to do that.[/quote]

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