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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because your spouse has cheated before, you should, any time you want, be able to call for transparency without notice. It should be understood between you that proving trustworthiness takes time, and your spouse's life should be an open book that you can read at will. I have this understanding with my spouse. I never actually check up or look at texts/accounts or anything, because I don't want to reduce my life to that and I have better things to do with my time. However, if they did something that concerned me, I'd want to check it out. You deserve peace of mind, and they have to go the extra mile to help you with that if they've cheated before.[/quote]

This sounds completely miserable.  That isn't trust.  That won't lead to building new trust.  This will only fuel anger and lead one to feel like they are being watched at all times.   That they have no privacy.

If you are going to stay with someone that has cheated on you, you have to forgive.  Stay on guard for obvious signs, but let the other person be an adult that isn't on watch all the time.  If someone is going to cheat again, they will.  Your call for transparency is not going to keep them honest and may actually push them to stray again.[/quote]

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