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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Re: enabling family members. I can say in my experience, which is sadly extensive, there's a hierarchy of "enablers" in the family. Imagine a pile. The people at the top are the people who are never expected to help or can easily turn a blind eye and pretend nothing is happening. It's easy for them to say "don't help, stop enabling." They're not expected to help and they know the people who are are still below them as options. The further you go down the pile, the harder it gets to just say "cut them off." When you're at the rock bottom of the pile, you're their rock bottom person. It falls to you to ultimately do the cutting off. Nobody above you really mattered because it all always fell to you anyway. And it is heartbreaking. Anyone who thinks it's as easy as just not helping has never been the rock bottom person. [/quote]

Thanks for this. I'm one of the two people she calls drunk and sobbing at night, though i have had to stop taking most of these calls as I can't handle it. I am just so heart broken. I know that what she needs is an in-patient treatment but I can't imagine how that would happen. She would need someone to fly down and take care of the kids-- and while I could do that for a week, I couldn't do that for longer than a week. Would her mother come? Maybe, maybe not. Her sister would not. Her husband is a total asshole and I can't imagine he'd be willing to make it work...

I just don't see how this works itself out.[/quote]

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