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[quote=Anonymous]We recently made a weekend visit to my sister and her DH and 2 children. My kids are 4 and 6 and hers are about the same ages. Here is what happened (I was with my back turned, helping my other child with something, so did not see all of it directly): My 4YO apparently climbed onto the arm rest of the couch and was standing on it. My BIL firmly told her "no...no...." and she did not comply. He then moved toward her with the intention of physically removing her from the couch. By the time I realized that there was something happening and turned around, she was on the seat of the couch crying and trying to crawl away, and he was standing over her grabbing at her legs.  I picked her up and ran out of the room with her as she continued to cry; as I did so, I heard my BIL yell (to me, I assume) "she needs an attitude adjustment!!" After I had left the room (this next part is what my DH says), my other daughter started crying, presumably because she was scared. My DH said to her "it's okay, it's okay" and my BIL screamed at him (this I heard from the other room) "It's NOT okay!!  This is my house, my rules!!" I proceeded to the room in which we were staying and my DH and other daughter soon followed. We did not know what to do but we both wanted to leave that instant. My 4YO was still sobbing and repeating "I want to go home" over and over. My older daughter was also still crying. We began packing up our stuff. We did not know what to do because my nephew's birthday party (the reason for our visit) was later that day. My BIL came up to our room shortly after and apologized. My SIL did, too. We ended up staying through the party, but left immediately after it finished instead of staying over a second night as originally planned.

My main questions are, would you have handled this differently and if so how? Also, what would you do going forward? My DH and I are in agreement that we really should not ever stay at their home again. (I should mention that although this is the worst incident that has ever happened, it is not the first...my sister and her BIL have very different parenting styles than we do.  They are very strict and military-like and strongly favor punishments and corporal punishment, whereas we do not).[/quote]

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