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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother is a helicopter mother. I am an only child. Growing up, it reached pathological and traumatic proportions, and I had difficulty setting boundaries, particularly as my father was an enabler.

So now the Atlantic ocean is between us, and I get along great with her - by phone! A few days spent in her company is all I can handle before she pushes all my buttons.

And no, she doesn't mean well. [b]She means to assuage her anxieties and desire for control.[/b] She also loves me, but most of the time I feel that is of secondary importance.

Anyway, limit contact and information. Be polite and courteous. [/quote]

5:58 here.  This, I believe, is the key to understanding helicopter MILS/mothers.  They are filled with a constant level of anxiety that brings a strong need for control.  Thus, the constant questions and observations that are all about directing you/controlling you to a certain path which, if you will only adopt it, will keep you blameless, safe, injury-free, and keep their anxiety under wraps.  Of course, their endless anxieties will never be under wraps, and no one is ever going to live a life free from harm and risk.[/quote]

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