Reply to Anticipating how to say no to crazy aunt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you cannot control whether someone is offended or not by what you say. All you can control is whether YOU say something offensive.

This is NOT an offensive statement: "We do not allow our child to spend the night in any home where firearms are not properly stored and double locked. Thanks for understanding."

You have 2 choices: either keep dancing around this or be a grown-up and tell her straight up why your child will not stay over there. It's really not that complicated. Your child's safety will always trump appeasing another person. [/quote]

Here's the thing. Is this really about guns?

OP, if you tell your aunt that the guns are a problem and aunt says, "Oh, of course! How silly of me. Of course I will immediately go out to buy a gun safe and immediately begin properly storing my (unloaded) weapons," will you then feel completely comfortable sending DC over to her house unaccompanied? Or are you going to continue to be nervous about whether the guns really are properly stored, what other hazards may be in her home (where are her poisons kept?), whether aunt is actually trustworthy, competent, etc?

If it's the latter, then don't bother having the gun conversation. Just say, "I don't feel comfortable leaving Larla for that long." or "Larla's not ready for overnights yet" or whatever. Or just feign keep putting it off: "Oh, maybe someday." Etc.

OP, you are in charge of where your DD goes and with whom. You owe no one (other than DH) any explanations about the decisions you make. You are free to change your mind at any time. Don't feel the need to apologize or even explain your decisions. Don't feel bad about doing what you think is right.[/quote]

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