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[quote=Anonymous]I feel fine about half the time. I wouldn't say I feel happy, but I laugh when something's funny, get along well with everyone around me, etc. But probably half my life I feel so dead inside that I have the feeling that I wish I was dead. I'd never actually kill myself, but I just constantly have this thought that I wish I was dead. It's getting worse lately. I don't think I'm depressed, I don't think I'm suicidal, I just feel dead inside pretty regularly. I don't hate myself but I don't particularly like myself either. I feel like if I can even find a therapist who would see me (I've tried - not many take my insurance, if they do the first appointment available is like several months away, etc). Usually I snap out of feeling dead inside from something external - something makes me laugh or I see one of my nieces, etc. Any idea what is going on? I've been telling myself not to be such a jerk and to be grateful for everything and just enjoy my life. That approach I guess isn't really working...[/quote]

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