Reply to Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)

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[quote=Anonymous]33 year old, heterosexual, male. In LTR with 37 year old female. We're in a bit of a relationship stand off, of late. We will probably end up breaking up, but I want some insight into my situation from any posters who have been in a similar or somewhat similar situation. Specifically for us it's around sex. Pretty typical story here. 1st year of relationship sex was on fire. Year 2 we almost broke up over some non-sex related issues, but reconciled. However, since that time the relationship has not heated back up. We've basically been sexless for 1.5 years. Been in therapy. Tried everything. She's LD now. I'm HD. But here's where the curiosity has me going. She knows we won't take the next step in the relationship unless this improves. I've made that clear. However, I refused to end the relationship. At least now. It's almost like we're both in a stand off. Day to day the relationship is okay (we don't fight, we have fun together), but it's not passionate or on fire anymore. Literally she has no drive.

Now before everyone comes in explaining how "I don't do it for her anymore" or it's non-bedroom related, let me just say, "I agree". All that may be true. But what I can't figure out is why the stand off? She's not gaining anything from me. We're both successful, but she out-earns me by a wide margin. We've both never been married, have no kids. She says she likely wants kids, but I do not necessarily want them. It just shocks me that she doesn't move on. What am I missing? It's almost become a research project for me to figure out why she's hanging on. I'm truly not worried about myself. I know I'll land on my feet in a future relationship if this doesn't work out. Ideally we would regain the magic from year #1, but I'm not naive. Just inquisitive at this point. particularly interested in female opinions...[/quote]

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