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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This reminds me of my wife's niece (so technically mine too), who is currently 19 years old and starting her sophomore year of college in the fall.

When DW and I started dating, this child was 9 years old. She was consistently rude, said things she knew to be unacceptable, and at times was flat out mean. She has always been overweight, and her parents, who are incredibly smart, I believe overcompensated for her insecurities by allowing her to get away with this. And they always explained it away with "Oh, she's just a kid...." Then when it persisted, "Oh, she's just a teenager..." and then "Oh, she's in high school, she's dealing with a lot." But she never grew out of it.

Flash forward to the start of her freshman year of college, and we sent her a very elaborate (and expensive) care package. Never heard a single word of thanks: not a text, call, card, nothing. You bet your ass my mom would've had me doing a hand written thank you card for that.

So IMO it's not okay, but if his parents don't correct him, what can you do?[/quote]

In some ways, I was that kid myself, though I was never rude or mean.  But I had NO idea about thanking people. Seriously, I was raised by wolves.  I am so, so, so embarrassed that I never sent thank you notes to all of the people who sent me gifts.  It took an aunt of mine to finally say, "You know, ***, there's no way that we can know that you appreciate that we went out of our way to send you a gift if you don't write us a thank you note afterward.  It makes us not want to send gifts anymore."  I was SO mortified.  But SO grateful, too.  It's seriously not something that my parents ever taught me, and I'm so grateful to my aunt for stepping in to help to civilize me.

I mention that to say -- she's an adult now.  And you know she was basically raised by wolves.  Assuming you love her and don't hold her 100% responsible for her parents' failures, I'd give her another shot.  If you're in email communication, maybe shoot her an email with a subject like, "Care package?"  And then say something like, "Hey, Brittany, we just wanted to reach out to see if you received the care package we sent.  We didn't hear anything from you so we are concerned that perhaps it was not delivered."  And if she writes back saying, "Yes, it was great!" or something like that, you have an opening.  She may honestly have decent intentions but no clue at all.[/quote]

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