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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - If money is tight then I would see if "just you" could go out once or twice a year not to visit - but to cover the care demands of one aspect of either your parents or the grandparents and give the person(s) who do the most direct caring a break.  And this might mean a couple of really long days or stepping in to do some heavy jobs like a heavy house or apartment cleaning, shopping and cooking and freezing some meals ahead of time.  Or if one is in a nursing home, giving the spouse a couple of days off.  With a young family, the elders really do not need to see the kids as much as you on at least one visit, and the best thing you can do for your siblings is to give them a break and make the offer to come if there was a special event in their lives they would like to be able to focus on such as a graduation, wedding, new baby etc.

My folks just got into a lovely lifecare setting, but even with five siblings in the immediate area, it does take work to see that all goes smoothly.  I am planning to come out every six months for several days even if just to be a visitor there and sitter so my Dad could go out for an extra round of golf etc.  Basically, you do what you can do, but do take time to see what a cheap flight might be to get home rather than doing meals and flowers.  Cards, letters and photos as well as phone calls are appreciated and do not cost much money.

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