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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Why don't you give your BIL something to do, like "hey Bill, can you chop these tomatoes" or "can you play uno with the kids?" etc.  Sometimes all people need is a little direction.[/quote]

I agree with this. Sometimes non parents really are lost about being around kids.[/quote]

+1 A lot of people don't really know how to engage with kids. Why don't you offer some suggestions for how BIL might play with them e.g. get a game going with your kids that you can then have BIL take over. FWIW, my dad does a lot of observing rather than actual playing with my kids (and his other grandkids) and I think it is because he really doesn't know what to do. He, like many dads, spent a lot of time working when we were growing up and left the bulk of the child rearing to my mom (although both worked outside the home). He does really well with very defined activities so he's great for taking the kids on walks around the neighborhood. He loves stopping with them so they can inspect every rock, twig, and insect. And he likes pulling the wagon with the kids in it and stuff like that. All of these things the kids love!

I think it's great that your in-laws want to have a relationship with your kids so I think you're overreacting a bit here especially since you said they did call your husband first even though he missed the calls. I am not a huge fan of my in-laws, but I would be thrilled if they took more of an initiative to have a relationship with our kids even if that meant them dropping by our house somewhat unannounced. I definitely can see how others might feel differently though so if this situation is really upsetting you then you should set some clearer boundaries for when your in-laws visit.   [/quote]

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