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[quote=Anonymous]Your BIL sounds like my brother, who is 35 and basically stuck in an arrested development state. He plays online games all night long. He never leaves the house.  He finally moved out of my parents' home and got a real, actual job that is 40 hours a week with health insurance. So he goes to this job, then goes home, and plays online games (makes me think of that Korean couple who played online games so much their baby died).  He's socially just weird, but he's my little brother so in my eyes he's just who he is.  He is ok with my kids, he tolerates a lot of their hyperactivity, but he has no clue how to play with them, and I don't expect him to know.  I wouldn't be surprised if my brother is on the spectrum, but whether he is or not does't matter to me. He never calls me, never visits, never emails, nothing. You are lucky that your BIL even communicates, I would be pretty excited for my brother to just show up so I would know he's alive.

Why don't you give your BIL something to do, like "hey Bill, can you chop these tomatoes" or "can you play uno with the kids?" etc.  Sometimes all people need is a little direction.[/quote]

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