Reply to Should my sister have to pay for the wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous]My niece got engaged back in the fall. She and her fiancee are young - both are 22.  My sister was so excited and got caught up in the excitement and they started planning right away. During those earlier months, my sister repeatedly told my niece that they would pay for the wedding and take out a loan to cover anything they didn't have the money for.  Fast forward a few months, my sister and BIL have come to their senses and realized that with 2 college tuitions to pay (my other niece starts college this coming Fall) and retirement not far off with not enough saved, that they can't afford to take out a loan to cover a wedding.  My nieces is devastated and this has caused huge family arguments.

My niece went full steam ahead on planning, found a site, caterer, etc.  She is saying it's unfair that her parents are backing out now and that they need to pay because they said they would.  I tried to talk to my sister early on about making such promises and that it would be better to sit down with her DD and fiancee and come up with a very realistic amount they could contribute towards wedding expenses.  She ended up getting mad at me and telling me it was none of my business and I would understand when my kids were getting married.

I admit - I am on the fence.  Sure my niece is being  whiny and needs to grow up a bit but then again she and her fiancee heard for months reassurance that my sister and BIL were going to cover the costs so I can't say they really did anything wrong.  My sister even accompanied them to visit sites and caterers and paid at least one deposit so far.  My sister is now telling me she doesn't know what to do and is really upset.  Part of me wants to tell her to suck it up and pay.[/quote]

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