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[quote=Anonymous]In an earlier discussion regarding collaborative divorce, most people seemed to think that going the collaborative divorce route vs. mediation is not such a good idea.  Many actually indicated that the whole collaborative divorce process is a scam.  I'm actually in the process of trying to get separated (and eventually divorced) from my husband through the collaborative process though the collaborative agreement has not yet been signed.

For us, I think the options are between collaborative vs. court.  My husband is emotionally abusive and manipulative.  Also, we have 3 small children.   He absolutely does not want this divorce and would be very hostile to any process.  We agree on nothing.  He currently has control of all assets (my name is on nothing) and he believes I should get nothing.  The only reason I think he agreed (at least verbally so far) to the collaborative process is because he cant stand the thought of not being in control and allowing a third party (the judge) to make the decisions. (He's also probably trying to stall things.)  The reason I want a collaborative divorce is because I'm hoping the "divorce team" can get him to be realistic and fair in the best interest of our children.  In court, with an adversarial attorney, I can only imagine what he's capable of.  He's already trying to accuse me of being mentally unstable and unfit to care for our children with absolutely nothing to back it up.

So my question is, does anyone have any experience with a collaborative divorce from a hostile spouse?  And given my situation, is a collaborative divorce something people would recommend?  I am afraid we're going to go through the time and expense of this only to end up in court anyway because he will refuse to agree to anything he thinks benefits me in any way. In fact, I'm afraid that is his intention - to keep the process going as long as possible until I finally give up or all the money is gone.

I go back and forth between believing the collaborative process is the best option for bringing some civility to our relationship to feeling that the only way to move the separation and divorce forward is to have a court force him to do so, even though he will try to drag my name through the mud in the process.  I would very much appreciate hearing any thoughts people have.  [/quote]

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