Reply to Tricky situation with a friend. Please advise

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[quote=Anonymous]
One of my high school best friends is getting married during the fall in a foreign country.  She asked me to be her maid of honor a few months ago. I knew it was going to be a big challenge because I have very demanding family obligations. I felt and still feel very privileged to be asked to fill this role. However, I have started to feel that though my friend choose me over other friends, I am not the right person for this role. A few weeks after she set up the wedding date, I initiated a conversation about plans for the big day such as the venue, her gown etc. She said she had mapped out plenty of the details already and she was in the process of figuring out about her gown. I asked her if she had bridal stores in mind that she wanted  to try out  but she didn't give me a definite answer... She was very vague which I interpreted to mean she didn't want to involve me. Anyhow, a few weeks ago I asked her how the plans were coming along, turns out she had not even gone to any bridal store to look at the gowns, she had not booked "the venue" ... basically four months to the wedding there is nothing that had been done. I sent her a wedding planning check list along with a few gown shops suggestions. It took her almost another month to visit the bridal stores... At first she wanted her gown to be custom made by this "designer," then that designer wasn't good enough so she opted to go back to the bridal stores... To cut the story short I redirected her like 50 times and finally early last week I told her we needed to select and order her gown by the end of the week. I was paying for her gown for upto X amount. Due to time constraints, the only option at that point was buying a sample wedding gown online since none of the stores would have the custom/ordered gown by wedding day. She is still going back and forth about the venue, she is in charge of bridesmaids dresses which she hasn't decided the design she wants and she doesn't want input from anyone. The reason why she has not booked the venue is because apparently the venues are "overpriced." I suggested she cuts the guest list by half to reduce the catering fees  and put the money to the venue and other things but she laughed it off and said the bigger the wedding the merrier it's going to be... It's the first wedding in her and her husband's to be family etc. She has 500+ guest and I bet they don't  know half of these people. With the above and other things I won't mention not unless they come up in later posts, I feel like my  friend is coming out as very indecisive, control freak(it's her wedding ... I get it) and it's making it very hard to feel useful. Anyhow, I would like to politely tell her I can't be her maid of honor. I would like to do so without bruising her feelings since I know how sensitive this is especially being just a few months to the wedding. I am not sure if there is a good and bad timing for breaking the news... I thought that maybe I wait for her to receive the gown which should be in the next two weeks, help her during the next two weeks to find a venue, caterer, order bridesmaids gown etc  by using any tactic available. All advice will be greatly appreciated!![/quote]

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