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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell it to me straight - what is life like with a kid like this?  My son just turned 6, was just diagnosed and started medication, and I have days where I feel like I want to run away.  I love him intensely, but I also have moments where he pushes my patience to the limit and I want to run away and never come back.  School is a battle.  Doing sports or lessons is a battle.  "Listen, listen, listen, pay attention, stop doing that, listen, pay attention, focus, stop doing that".  I imagine his teachers will be glad to be done with him this year, since this is no doubt what they deal with all day every day, while trying to teach other kids.[/quote]

My life is with a husband, son, and daughter like this.  My husband learned good coping skills as a child in an unsupported environment (was not diagnosed till college) but has some self esteem issues that goes hand in hand with not being supported for his issues through childhood.  My kids - it seems you never know when some disaster is going to fly out of no where and you need to schedule yet another meeting at school.  They are in high school and middle school now.

Words of advice:

1) Don't always react in the moment when things go wrong.  Life with people with ADHD is not perfect.  Pick and choose the battles and it is ok to let them learn from their mistakes.  It is not your job to always jump in and rescue them.  Some of the best lessons are the ones in which they get that 0 or miss out on an opportunity because then they understand the cost of being unprepared.  Practice deep breathing, giving yourself a timeout, or exercise break so you can make a rationale decision of when to step in and when to just let the consequences play out.

2) Try to set up routines and structure in the house to help with organization.  Keys and work ID in a bowl (for my husband), keys with a pull out chain in backpacks (for my kids), packing lunches and homework in backpacks the night before, oversized calendars for family activities, individual oversized calendars in bedrooms for kid activities and assignments, always tell them you need to leave 15 minutes earlier than you really do, etc.  Planning ahead helps to minimize household stress and anxiety for everyone.  You also are teaching coping skills that will help your children as they eventually become adults.

3) Give your kids chores in the house.  The most important is keeping their room organized and clean.  At a minimum - once a week.  However, it helps if they spend 15 minutes per day (making bed - can't tell you how many things get lost in a messy bed) so the chore doesn't overwhelm them.  Other chores - emptying and filling dishwasher, vacuuming, folding clothes, cleaning bathrooms, etc. teach them responsibility of keep the whole house clean and keeping things organized.  Everyone chips in and it can get done in little time.

4) Stop the hoarding.  I don't know if every person with ADHD is like this but my kids have a hard time discriminating what is important and what can be let go.  This especially applies to school and their binders.  I buy 2 - 3" binders for the year.  They then will have a fresh, empty notebook in the new semester and the old one is stored on a shelf for reference.  Clearing out clothes either damaged or too small, toys not wanted, etc. helps clear the clutter and maintain an organized environment.

5) Get in the habit of everyone writing down to do lists.  I find it helpful to sit down right before bed to make a to do list for the next day so I know what to get started on first thing.  For your child, it might be better to do when they get home from school to make a quick to do list of all their homework subjects.

6) Realize with ADHD, they cannot focus for long periods of time but they also procrastinate.  My kids eat a snack when they come home, make their lists, then work on homework for 30-45 minutes, take a 20 minute break or do an afterschool activity, come back and do homework, etc.  For the breaks, we set timers so they know when break time is over.

Hope this helps.[/quote]

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