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[quote=Anonymous]I posted several months ago - quick recap 
Very close relationship w my family though they live several states away. My parents pretty close w my kids, their grandchildren we visit one another handful of times per year. A year ago my parents coming to visit my dd says "I don't want to see grandpa" she was 4, I know they can have all kinds of opinions but she was emphatic. But they were on way so I dismissed it. Flash forward a visits later then coming up on holidays last winter I really have a bad moment about incident that happened to me in high school w my dad, her grandpa. Not big but he lay down behind me on their bed, me watching tv and his hand starting moving up my side was stopped by my elbow under my chest that wasn't going to move. The moment itself was maybe minor but I distinctly remember that interaction because my whole body froze, my gut said this is weird and I've never forgotten it. 
So I tgem weirdly was freaking out internally at age 38 over incident in high school that I struggled w  but moved on from. Talked to therapists my husband knew but I moved on. It hit me a different way last yr one day as I looked at my dd. I sort of "felt" the incident again like I never had since is best way to say it. Then I thought of her saying, for whatever reason "I don't want to see grandpa". And I got scared, felt like I'd ignored her wishes, sad, etc and bailed on seeing them for the holidays. And I haven't been able to get it together to go see them since then. They haven't seen their grandkids I'm struggling with a years ago feeling of mistrust and a need to bubble wrap my dd even though likely nothing happened. I feel terrible, often think okay this weekend is it we're going and then....can't. They know nothing except probably think I'm terrible for keeping kids away. I feel awful yet protective with no desire to see them but I love them. Am I crazy? [/quote]

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