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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "when covert manipulator becomes overt - seeking insights"
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[quote=Anonymous]Dear OP, It is hard to understand the thinking of an abuser because the abuse is, in itself, irrational..... I was in an abusive relationship for years and finally left, got help.... Asking why? or why didi it escalate? isn't productive I think because there is no rhyme or reason to it.... There is often the analogy of the frog in the frying pan, where abuse victims get conditioned/numb to the abuse and don't realize it until it escalates further... I am so sorry to hear about your relative, but I agree with others that I would turn your focus to helping her so she does not perpetuate the cycle of abuse.... BTW, it is typical for abusers to blame their victims -as the mother in this instance apparently has done -very common behavior = you might find the Patricia Evans Book "tHe Verbally Abusive relationship" enlightening in terms of trying to get into the mind of an abuser and answering your question about covert become overt..... [/quote]
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