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[quote=Anonymous]A relative who's known for covert manipulations has made one of her children her special target over the years. Based on what this child has shared, the manipulator has usually been less covert about her aggression toward the child. Apparently, a lengthy history of physical abuse. Even more disturbingly, the mother expresses glee when the child is hurt. Not even close family members have been fully aware of this dynamic.

What some family and friends have believed (and still believe) is that the child is a problem and the mother is a caring woman. (Some former friends have a different perspective now.) The evidence paints a different picture. The child is a talented student who's won prestigious scholarships. She hasn't gotten into trouble at school or elsewhere in the community. She doesn't drink, use drugs, etc., and spends most of her free time studying.

We didn't learn about the physical violence, which continued while her daughter was in college, until the most recent incident. That incident was this: the relative threatened serious harm toward her child (who's now in college). She then proceeded to fulfill that threat. We have solid evidence of the threat and its fulfillment. Let's just say it's something along the lines of an iphone recording, as well as the physical wounds the child suffered, etc. The pretext for the threat that the relative provides in the recording is that she's "tired of" her attitude. She doesn't elaborate.

We've removed the child from the home and have taken a number of steps to support her emotionally and financially, so her safety's not the focus on this thread.

[b]My question is this: why does a covert manipulator suddenly switch to overt threats? Additionally, is it typical that this switch also involves such an escalation in violence? [/b]I understand that this relative has been "less covert" with this particular child all along, but her daughter tells us she was surprised by the conversation in question because "that's not how Mom does things," and, based on our understanding of this relative, it seems out of character.

We're reasonably certain, BTW, that we understand her basic motivation. Shortly before, her husband had committed to supporting their daughter through graduate school. Instead of leaving home in one year after finishing her B.S., her daughter would be staying at least another year beyond that.

I would very much appreciate responses from posters who have BTDT. TIA.[/quote]

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