Reply to Coping/Moving on after separation/divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]Counseling
Making new friends (mostly people I already knew, but I had previously felt too busy to try and make plans with.  I was super socially isolated when I was with my spouse and now I do social stuff, both on my own and with my kid, every week)
Going to visit old friends, and inviting them to visit me
Working out
Taking a class
I'm really making an effort to be consciously kind to other people and to reach out and support them-so I don't just get caught up in my own pain.

It's really hard (in my case my spouse left me for another woman).  And, it's a challenging situation, because you do need to keep busy and start moving on, but it's also appropriate to mourn what you've lost and feel that pain.  In my case, I am really functional and doing all the stuff on the list above. Some of my friends really don't want me to be sad (which is understandable) and want me to meet someone new right away and move on.  I feel like I need this time to feel bad about a bad thing-and I'm not ready to move on-and if I still feel that way in a year it would be a problem, but for now that sadness is helping me understand myself and my relationships, and hopefully it's making me a better more mature person.[/quote]

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