Reply to What do parents "owe" their adult children?

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[quote=Anonymous][i]We have friends who are very financially stable, more than stable actually. They are also fortunate enough to both have parents who are also financially well-off- so much so they already have college funds set up for our friends four young children. 
The husband has a sister who is married with young kids but they are really struggling financially, and it seems like they have had a lot of bad luck- a lot of unforeseen medical bills and sadly her husband was just laid off. Given these unfortunate circumstances, "husbands" (our friend) parents stepped up to help his sisters family get back on their feet - a few times. To the tune of $10,000 here or $5000 there etc. To me, this seems like the right thing to and his parents are very blessed that they can do that for their children if need be. However, the wife feels her in-laws "owe" them the same and insists her husband ask for an equal amount whenever his parents help his sisters family. Again, they do not "need" the money and use it for things like extravagant vacations or new furniture. I know this is none of my business and the wife is my best friend, she knows my views and we have had this argument for years. I have a hard time listening to her complain about it when they haven't received an equal amount , or act smug when they do receive it. I'm curious where others stand on this topic. Do you think when a parent is helping one of their adult children, it is necessary or "only fair" that they then "gift" their other adult child the same? I come from a large family and I would never expect my parents to give me what they gave to my sister or brothers when they were in need. My parents paid for my sisters rehab and my friend asked if I was going to to ask for an equal amount of money because she believes it's not fair that my sister who obviously messed up her own life is being given something when my husband and I have "played by the rules" ( her quote) and are getting nothing. I feel differently, I wouldn't trade places with my sister in a million years and I am grateful that my parents have been able to help her. Thoughts??[/quote]

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