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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Did you marry up or down?"
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[quote=Anonymous]It's an odd question, very old-fashioned way of looking at things, sort of the way my grandmother looked at marriages and evaluated them. Strange that it surfaces here and now. I wonder if OP is trying to figure out how others deal with differences in background within marriages. My DH came from a lower middle class background, and I come from an upper middle class background. Neither of our families had money, but my relatives are wealthy, and DH's relatives are impecunious drunken brawlers. It has definitely caused stress within our marriage, if that's your question, OP? But we've been married a long time and have long since worked these things out. The sad part is that my in-laws are still resentful of me. Whenever we're around each other, they say passive-aggressive nasty things to me. I love to eat at nice restaurants, love to cook. Whenever we take them out to a nice restaurant, MIL always says something about how she loves Olive Garden and Red Lobster. Last time we had her over for dinner, she raved about how much she loves Fritos and Doritos, and how much DH used to eat them when he was young. "But there are no Doritos in THIS house," she said. That's the tip of the iceburg, but you get the idea. In the end, I just gave up, and we no longer see them regularly. That's a loss for our kids, who have no other grandparents, but the stress of dealing with all that class resentment (not on my part), was wearing me down, so DH agreed that we don't have to see them, except for short visits when I can tolerate them. He's used to their BS, but I really can't take it. Nothing I can do about their resentment, but it's something I wish I didn't have to deal with. There are times when I wish DH and I were from the same background, but if that were the case, my MIL would find something else to find fault with. I think she didn't want anyone to marry her son, that's the bottom line. Rant over. [/quote]
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