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[quote=Anonymous]I don't want to mention how I am related to this family member because if they figure out who I am they will hold a grudge forever.

This problem has been ongoing and it has gotten very tense lately. I feel like it is a powder keg ready to explode. This started quite a while ago when my family member met her high school sweetheart. She said it was her true love fairy tale and they would be together forever. Another family member said that everyone feels that way about their first love and she became furious, saying that they would be together and they would prove everyone wrong. They've been together for 15+ years now, but its been rough on everyone.

Her husband is very unlikable. He has anger issues and at times family has been concerned he was abusive. I will say it is a fact that he is controlling. He says he doesn't like authority and he will rail against it. He also gets these ideas in his head and will completely change their whole lives at the drop of the hat whether she wants to or not. Once he convinces her she gets gungho about it and makes sure everyone knows how it is the greatest thing. First he was going to be a rockstar, so they lived like that. Then he decided he wanted the "Ozzie and Harriet" life (his words) and they settled in the suburbs. Now he has decided he wants to be a homesteader, so again, uprooted and in over their heads.

This homesteading thing is so sad to watch, they keep failing at it and if anyone offers advice or yes, criticism they lose their minds and hold a grudge against that person. This time though it isn't just them, it is two little children and animals. (they've killed bees and chickens and now they are talking about getting a cow) Some family members are just holding their breath waiting for his next whim to come along. He will also only associate with people like him so their friends (what few they have) each time their life changes.

She also has this pie in the sky attitude where she will never admit when something is wrong, even to her closest family members. She will never ever take a piece of advice at face value, even when she asks for it. If you disagree with her she will do her damnedest to prove you wrong. Most of us feel it is a defense mechanism to prove everyone wrong about how her husband runs their lives.

I'm not sure what I am looking for. I guess I just needed to type some of that out. We all talk about it so much to each other, our concern for her and now their children.

I just don't know what to do. I didn't put some of the worst stuff here because it is so specific.

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