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[quote=Anonymous]I don't want to write a long essay here, so I will try and summarize all the shit I have been through for the past 30-odd years.

My extended family is very close by American standards, because we're Indian and we have to invite our third cousins to our birthdays/weddings, blah blah blah. Both of my parents have toxic siblings and my mom has very toxic parents. By &quot;toxic&quot; I mean:

- always finding fault and magnifying my parents' smallest flaws/mistakes, and mine as well (I'm an only child, their first granddaughter/niece on both sides)
- never acknowledging my parents' successes or achievements, or mine, except to belittle/downplay them. Examples:
--&gt; &quot;Oh you bought a new house in neighborhood X? Well your sister/brother/cousin bought an even nicer house in neighborhood Y which is even fancier!&quot;
--&gt; &quot;Oh you bought us a car? Why is it such a mid-range car? Couldn't have bought us a BMW?&quot;
--&gt; &quot;Oh you got admission to a college ranked in the 40s? You went to Notre Dame for grad school? Couldn't get into an Ivy League?&quot;
(Basically, my grandparents are unappeasable and my aunts and uncles are so competitive with my parents - and with pitting their children against me - that their behavior is exactly like my grandparents' behavior)

- They deliberately make us look bad in front of other relatives or family friends
- They've borrowed huge sums of money, never returned it, never said thank you

Despite all this, my parents and I have tried to do our duty to them for years. Nobody is truly evil, of course. My grandparents did their duty by my mother when she was growing up, and I can't forget that. I also know my grandparents had rough lives which I have made them bitter, insecure, and resentful of the world, so I try to remember that.

But recently I got married (earlier this year) and I have just learned that my aunts, uncles and cousins spent my wedding week saying very hurtful things about me and my new DH. Among them:
- &quot;She must've married him for the money, he's so unattractive&quot; (My DH is very attractive in my eyes and in the eyes of my true friends)
- &quot;blah blah blah let's criticize every aspect of the wedding planning to other relatives, and make OP and her parents look like their close relatives don't have their back!&quot;
- &quot;OP's sari doesn't suit her coloring at all, where did she find that sari?&quot;

And all kinds of other cruel things.

I'm just done. I'm done and I don't want them in my life. I don't know why I spent the money to have them at my wedding when I knew this was going to happen. I just don't want to look like the bad guy by estranging myself from them. And I am not sure why God gave me such toxic relatives when I've always only had love in my heart and if they had been good to me, I would have been SO GOOD to them.

I'm ready to completely 100% cut them off, and wish my parents would too. Vent over.[/quote]

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