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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I know what you mean about the "I don't believe you" thing.

I was recently offered a job, and I was not pleased with the offer.  They altered it with some promises of things that *might* happen and kept saying "probably" and "likely."

I didn't know how to tell them that the whole negotiation process kind of made me just not believe what they were promising and there would be little recourse for me if their promises didn't materialize (other than quitting).

But you can't say, "I don't believe you."

Just tell them that you are really committed to your current position and not ready to leave.  Don't even mention the other stuff.  It's not worth debating.

I kind of regret in my negotiation process saying as much as I did about why the initial offer wasn't right for me.  It didn't help get me a better offer and maybe even worked against that.

I think if I would have framed it all in a different way without giving too many details that they might have come back with a better offer.

I know that is not your situation.  But you might at one point in the future go back to work for them.  And they might use whatever you tell them now to work against you in the future.

Just focus on the positive.[/quote]

Thanks. I don't want to make it about culture and flexibility, that is huge but it's not everything. I am really burnt out on the old place's issue. I believe in them, but don't want to a big job pursuing them right now. My current job lets me focus on a broader range of issues and do different things. I'm learning different skills and though it is not perfect, feel strongly that I need to stay put for a while. That is what I will focus on, though I won't use the word "burnt out."

To the other person who asked about percentage increase. I made around 100K at the old place. I got about an 18% increase off the base salary. Probably a little less if you count my bonus at the old place, but bonus was really small.

If I move back, I could probably leverage a 15% raise, up from my current salary at the new place. If I'm being honest, money-wise at the end of the day I may fare better over the next five years at the old place. But probably not by much. And it will come at a cost of a lot more stress and time away from my kids. So not worth it to me. And I think the new place will give me better leverage career-wise down the road in terms of moving on.

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