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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you asked your husband about this?

My husband does not have a close relationship with his mom. He acknowledges that it's both their faults. She was not a particularly loving mother, not very maternal, not nurturing. He was a badly behaved teenager (drug issues, school issues, etc.) who left home at 17 and then had fairly minimal interactions with his parents until he was about 35. He still does not enjoy spending time with her, but he does it, because he knows that she loves DD. If she lived locally, he would make an effort to facilitate their relationship even though he is basically on edge the whole time she's around.

He is perfectly happy to have me be the custodian of the relationship. She lives in Florida and we go to see her about once a year. I make and execute the plans. She seems okay with this arrangement as well.[/quote]

OP here.  Similar situation. She's not very warm or nurturing.  He also had troubles as a teenage and left home early, got married at 19.  Other siblings moved far away.  MIL doesn't have close relationships with any of her grandchildren either.

I'm not sure I want to be the custodian of the relationship.  Should I be? Is it my job?  Yes, it's a relief for him, so he won't have to deal with her.  I invite her over and suggest we visit her, but it never gets reciprocated.  Should I stop?

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