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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of our visits are based on need rather than just to visit. A holiday, wedding, family event. 
[b]My parents have never asked or suggested a visit. They also never make plans, even a simple dinner plan, when we visit. My mom seems bothered when we stay with her but is super pissed if we don't. I can't win.[/b]
My MIL is better about mentioning events that are happening if we want to come but doesn't want to pressure us to feel obligated.

Usually, the parents come to us, unless we have reasons to be home. Financially, it is far cheaper for their 2 tickets than our family tickets. Logistically, with small kids it is easier. And we can focus on them during our visit vs when we travel to them we have so many family and obligations it becomes so stressful and everyone feels like they didn't get enough time with us.

Maybe they aren't suggesting it because they know it is a big expense and a big effort for you and your family to travel to them. They don't want you to feel pressure? Or maybe your mom is passive aggressive like mine and wants you to be some sort of mind reader to know when she wants you to visit but refuses to tell you.[/quote]

OP here: yes, this is my parents. Only it's my dad who is more of the passive aggressive one. When we stay with them, he acts so put upon...can't sit still for even a few minutes because he's "so busy" cleaning, going to the grocery, making dinner, etc. but whenever we have suggested we stay at a hotel instead to decrease his workload, he gets really offended. arg. [/quote]

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