Reply to Trying to make sure your aging parents don't get taken financially take advantage of

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[quote=Anonymous]My elderly parents have a large piece of land that has been in our family for generations.

It didn't used to be all that valuable but now has appreciated due to development in the area.

I would say it could be worth as much as 4 or 5 million dollars, so the stakes are pretty high.

I have one sibling but he is an artist - not with it w/r/t law, business, etc., so he is not someone who can help much.

Parents are thinking of selling it to fund their retirement. Developers frequently approach them about buying it.

My parents are not mentally incompetent. But they are experiencing some cognitive issues (diagnosed).

I feel they might get taken advantage of - my dad is negotiating and looking over contracts himself, his "comps" are just word of mouth ("oh so and so sold his for X ten years ago") for ex, rather than hiring a real estate attorney. (he used to practice law but has no experience in real estate development.) They don't seem to fully understand how much the land has appreciated.

I am trying to encourage them to hire a lawyer, maybe interview real estate brokers, etc., helping with logistics, but my dad seems to think he can handle this with no lawyers or brokers on his end.

This is stressful to me and I was expressing my stress to my boyfriend. He said I either take them to court and get them declared incompetent (no way am I doing that at this point) or stay out of it because it is my dad's land. (Well - it is family land tho - my dad did not buy it himself.) And I want my parents to have plenty of cash for their old age - I think they will need round the clock care before too long. He expressed this in a very unsympathetic way, uncaring way.

So my first q is - what is my appropriate role here? Isn't there a middle ground between getting your elderly parents declared incompetent and just doing nothing? (Both of my boyfriend's parents are the same age but in much better shape than my parents. They are mentally fine so he can't really relate. Also they are suburban so the concept of a family farm being passed down generation to generation is foreign to him.)

And my second q - I am upset that my boyfriend is not being more sympathetic....am I being overly sensitive?[/quote]

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