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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "My friend's husband sucks"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not encourage her to take any particular path. She has to figure that out for herself. What you can do is listen and ask her questions, like have you talked to him about it? have you thought about getting counseling? are you thinking of leaving him? If she starts to lean in one direction, again, you can listen and provide support. Be very careful about telling her what she should do. She may resent you for it later and not want to talk any more. Sounds like she really needs a sounding board. I don't think that means you don't provide any advice. If she starts talking about wanting a divorce, but says she can't leave for X reasons, you could help her figure out how to start preparing now. [/quote] This is helpful, thanks (this is OP). They are in counseling but it doesn't seem to be working. She will start to talk about it (mostly over IM, rarely in person) and then withdraw, as if she is either guilty for sharing their private business or embarrassed of his behavior (and that I might see her as 'putting up with it.') It's hard.[/quote] You’re welcome. I recently went through a tough time with my DH. When I talked to friends about it, I would cringe when any of them started telling me what I had to do. A couple of them were adamant that I “had to leave.” When they started talking like that I got defensive and it turned me off from continuing to talk to them. I appreciated more the friends who would listen, and who said things like “if what you need to do is leave, then that is fine and I will be here for you.” I really needed to work through it in my own head, but having people listen was helpful. I ended up staying with DH, and things are getting so much better now between us. [/quote]
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