Reply to Complicated Issue: Best Way to Blend this Unique Family????

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[quote=Anonymous]SO and I are both early 40's. He became a widow when his wife was killed in a car accident a little over a year ago, leaving him with a daughter who's heading to college in the fall and a 17 yo daughter who will be a senior next year. My DS is in his first year college out of state.

SO is past ready to move our relationship to marriage, but I have some practical concerns. He has a large family home on several acres and simply wants me to move in and begin a life with him. and his children. I can rent out or sell my home (leaning towards renting).

My question is how do I protect myself (financially) as his wife while being fair to our children? If something happens to him, I can imagine the kids wanting me out of "their" home and then going on as if I was never a part of their lives. After all, this is the home they shared with both of their parents until their mother's untimely death. If something happens to him 1, 10, 20 or 30 years down the road, where should that leave me????

It would be easier for him and his kids for me to simply move into their home instead of creating more disheaval for them. However, simply moving into a new home (neutral territory) would be better for me.

Should I demand my name is on the title to ensure my equity in the property? Simply keep my finances separate and not pay a dime towards the mortgage?

I told him I will not accept his proposal until we sit down and hash out the numbers and unromantic aspect of joining our families of young adult children.

On my end, I plan to leave my rental (and home I raised DS in) to my son. SO's house is worth 3 times more than mine.

SO does not need my income. He makes approx. 3 times more than I do and can obviously take care of his family without my help, but I plan to continue to work and don't know how I should approach handling our finances either.

Advice? Suggestions? Ideas? Anyone BTDT? Any legal eagles?[/quote]

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