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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am still un-spooling more than ten years after leaving my ex. I would not recommend this approach, but I dealt with these feelings by getting involved with someone who was largely unavailable for about a decade. I was then spoken for and involved without having someone close. It was a crappy compromise, but hindsight being 20/20, I needed to give myself that kind of safe space. Time and therapy helped a lot. I finally got to a place where I was ready and able to be in a real relationship again, and the above situation ended.

All of this is to say I totally understand where you are coming from.[/quote]

OP here. It is odd. I'm glad you mentioned your situation because I have been considering the ramifications of any involvement with this man from out of town, who is a friend, and a childhood friend at that, and I think there is no way it could "work" as anything other than friends with some small benefits.  Just can't see it working out any other way for a bunch of reasons. And is it right for me to involve him with me in any way knowing this? Again, we have discussed this very frankly and its all good, but still I can see now how quickly it gets complicated and not necessarily in anyone's best long term interests...

It will take however long it takes....[/quote]

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