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[quote=Anonymous][quote]No, really, he told me so last night, all because I couldn't get our toddler to bed. He told me I was useless and stupid, asked what had I done all day (worked all day and cooked him dinner, for two), then said he hated me.

I don't know what to do. Our child loves him more and spent all night screaming for his father. It's not like I can leave and take our child. I can't afford the life my child deserves on just my salary. I never would have had a child on my just my salary. DC wouldn't want to live with just me anyway, because I am a bad mother, but working on it so hard. Loves dad a lot more. Maybe that's a phase, maybe not, but I'd lose if I left DH. I feel so stuck.[/quote]

Oh my God. You need to take a deep breath. First, your toddler isn't even going to remember this and doesn't want you any less than the father. It's just that you are more accessible. Kids want what they can't have and obviously it's the dad who is a lazy SOB. That said, you need to get your head straight.

If it's a money issue, you need to make a plan to be a single parent, living alone on your income. Do you need to make more? Do you need to look for more affordable areas to live (I tell people all the time to just move to Woodbridge. It's easier than staying in a shitty marriage so you can live in Arlington -- for example). What kids need is a safe, stable home. What they need is safe daycare.

OP you need to make a plan, be a grown up, stop letting that jerk victimize you and leave with your kid. Be open to co-parenting and all that jazz. Don't do the sole custody thing -- it won't work and will only make the jerk dig his heels in more for custody rights he isn't going to use anyway.

Meet a lawyer to talk through the initial steps and learn more. And for the love of God, don't assume stupid things like you'd lose custody because your toddler prefers your husband over you. That's is nonsense and victim behavior talking. Stop it.

Take a cold shower tonight. And step up. It's your life.[/quote]

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