Reply to Working co-parenting relationship with the former other woman?

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[quote=Anonymous]If your ex left you to be with an affair partner how did you develop a functional relationship with that person.  This person will likely marry my ex and have an active role in my preschooler's life.  I don't want to hurt my child by being obviously bitter/hateful, or make my child live in two separate worlds because I don't want to be in the same room with this woman.  Unfortunately, because we were all friends before the affair, I know a lot about her that is unflattering (has cheated/pursued married people multiple times/declared bankruptcy).  If she was just a random person in my life, I would probably feel sorry for her because it's pretty clear that some bad stuff happened to her and her behavior is a bad coping strategy.  So that is me trying to be objective and compassionate.  The other part of me just just hates this woman and can't believe my ex left for someone who is so shitty, and that this person will play a big role in my child's life (until she steps out again).

Has anyone sat down with an ex's partner to talk in this kind of situation, or even done some kind of joint counseling session?  I don't want to see her or talk to her, but I'd rather have contact in some kind of controlled setting, than say, at my child's birthday party.

Sometimes it is really hard to be an adult.[/quote]

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