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[quote=Anonymous]That's me.  Parents always wanted me to date their sons, so of course my actual MIL doesn't like me.  I took her son away, which was unpopular,.  He also somewhat deliberately chose someone who was nothing like his mother - either physically or by personality - so we don't get each other at all.

I tried really hard at first but was kind of taken aback by her constant digs and coldness.  No one can point to anything I did, and I definitely have tried to see what I might have done wrong.  My reaction to her nastiness was to become almost too pleasant and polite, in a way I could imagine being kind of annoying.  But I couldn't either tell her off or just stop trying, so it was the best I could do. I also was pretty hurt by it, so I didn't quite know what to do.

DH has now accepted that his mom is an alcoholic who probably also has narcissistic personality disorder.  He also gets that she is awful to me, so I am not required to try anymore. That helps, and I now am just amused by her insults (to me - I get more protective of DH and his younger brother).  I'll never tell her off, and she'll never be nice to me.  It is what it is, but it took a long time to get to the point that it wasn't really hurtful.[/quote]

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