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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you for the input.  Really, you are spot on.  I know my expectations are based on my own family and the way they do things.  I know that MIL does love us, in her own way.  And DH doesn't seem as bothered by the lack of involvement.  I have tried very hard to accept the relationships I have and be thankful for them.  It is a hard process though, because it is very different from the relationship I want to have.

I do worry some about explaining this different level of grandparent involvement to my children though... I was an adult before I could appreciate that one set of grandparents just did things different than the other.  I had one actively involved set and another that barely spoke to us or acknowledged our presence on our bi-monthly visits.  By the time I understood this didn't mean the uninvolved set didn't love or care for me, they were gone.  As an adult, I look back and see the ways my grandparents did care for me.. the little things they did like having my favorite juice boxes in the fridge when we came (when they obviously never drank them) or always have a dollar bill on hand for us to find hidden behind a chair.  As a kid, all I cared about was that they never came to my ball games or birthday parties, they never called me on the phone, they never invited us for sleepovers, etc.  There was an obvious difference, and children do not understand the nuances of different family dynamics.  [/quote]

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