Reply to Lack of trust after sexual assault

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm so sorry you were attacked. Your husband's reaction makes things worse for you. Your post focuses on his feelings and trying to understand and respond to them. Not to disregard his feelings, but the victim of an assault should be focusing on recovering from her trauma. Primarily, at any rate. The way you describe your post-rape dynamic, it almost seems that he's the recovering victim, rather than you.

If you'd made a driving error - say, you'd driven through a stop sign - and that was a factor contributing to your being in the path of a speeding drunk driver who then hit and injured you, would you think it's reasonable for your DH to say he has trust issues with you in the aftermath of that accident? People do stupid things, and you admit you did stupid things the night you were attacked. That doesn't make you complicit in the crime that was committed against you. His report of "trust issues" in your marriage following a rape is troubling. His insistence on your going through with the horrible post-rape legal process when you didn't want to is also troubling.

I feel for you. You seem to be in a difficult place. Intensive therapy will hopefully help you gain some perspective, and perhaps some answers, with regard to your marriage.[/quote]

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