Reply to Lack of trust after sexual assault

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife won't drink very much with me these days, so I get jealous if she drinks with other people -- like I'm just the guy she lives with and she has fun with other people. If she got sexually assaulted while she was drinking with others, there would be a part of me that would be pissed at her because it happened while she was having fun with other people while I was left out.  Self-centered, sure. But real feelings. [/quote]

Op here - those are d finitely feelings that my husband was having at the time - he said as much.  Maybe still now. Those are valid real feelings.  do you think you could find it in your heart to say to your wife, and mean it, that she was not to blame?  That you were angry because you miss her and were jealous?  That the people that did that to her are the ones at fault and that what they did was unforgivable?  I never have heard any of those things from my husband.
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I think your husband just feels very hurt and probably has a lot of regrets about what happened to you like he should've been there, you shouldn't have partied by yourself like you were not married, you shouldn't have been drinking, he should've protected you from the wrong people, you should've been smarter, you couldve gotten pregnant, gotten an std, etc. If you both attend therapy you'd both have to reveal everything you feel and what happened to you in the past. Since this happened before though it is puzzling to me why you wouldn't take precaution again?[/quote]

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