Reply to My parents that were good parents treat me differently as an adult

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "My parents that were good parents treat me differently as an adult"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the comments. I don't think I was spoiled growing up. I did not grow up rich or with a lot of things, but was a good kid that did a lot of chores and worked my way through college. My parents were good in that they were loving and supportive. But in terms of things, I paid for a lot of my college, paid for 95% of my own wedding, and pay for almost all of their visits to DC to see us. I was, and still am, a very hard worker.

My parents can be a little needy and probably always were. I remember in college having to explain many times to my mom in particular, that I was studying and didn't have time to talk or hang out with her. When I went to grad school, there was no way I was doing that near their home because they wouldn't have understood why I wasn't hanging out with them all of the time, or was studying or doing work instead. Keep in mind, I give and gave a lot of my time to them, taking them on trips, visiting them whenever I had leave, etc. But it seems like a bottomless pit sometimes. When I would explain that I have work to do and can't socialize, etc., my mom would chastise me for not getting my work done earlier. You see the pattern here... [/quote]12:54 here -- okay that makes sense.  Clearly your parents don't have boundaries and they want you to be their best friend.  Okay, I'm overstating this here but your description reminds me a little of my dh's parents who had a hard time separating from him -- and I think there was an element of them not wanting him to have friends his age and a life separate from him.

Anyway, my mom wasn't quite like this but I still felt enmeshed in her emotional life as an adult.  It was only after I set some boundaries with her that I began to have a better relationship with her -- because I felt like she didn't control me anymore so her anxieties didn't threaten my emotional life.  Good luck with this - it sounds tough to deal with.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics