Reply to Has anyone out there dealt with parental abandonment?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a really sad thread. Sending love to you all. [/quote]

Tears for you all.  Sending love and hope your way.
[/quote]
On the surface, your reactions are sweet, but I just want to let you know that such responses can actually be very unhelpful. The people here who have had difficult childhoods are commiserating and sharing in way that can be cathartic. Pity cheapens the process and can also be very silencing because no one wants to feel as if they are an object of pity. Reactions like these are why I rarely speak about my childhood experiences to anyone who is not a sibling or my spouse.  I am actually more bothered by pity than by being stigmatized for not coming from a "perfect" family.

FWIW, I do not feel that I need anyone to cry for me. The past cannot be changed, but in the years since leaving my parents' house and distancing myself from them, I have created for myself the kind of life that I always wanted. I chose to break the cycle by selecting a loving, loyal, stable man to marry and he is an excellent husband and father. I have a child whom I lavish with the devotion, dedication, and care that I was never shown. I am also successful in my career. The past does not have to poison the future. Scars remain in that I am still reticient to open my heart to new people and I keep my circle small to protect myself. But I also have better judgment than most people and am an excellent judge of character. I am also getting better with age. I am only in my early 30s and I am confident that, as I continue to make good decisions and select the right people to share my life, my trust in people and life will return.

- 18:28[/quote]

I disagree with this.  I also posted upthread but just with a quick "yes, me too" response because I don't even think I could post a lengthy description of my life in an anonymous forum.  Maybe because I was also treated cruelly by peers growing up, I just can't past the idea of people mocking me and sneering at me.  The idea that people could (and do!) respond with compassion is really nice.  [/quote]

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