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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I totally get it. And can tell you it only gets worse (at least for ADHD and spectrum issues) in college.  We have come to terms that there are just some things that DS cannot do - like write a college paper.  The personal problem that DW and I find ourselves saying - dealing with a 20 year old (and now obviously aspergers if you were to meet - wasn't so even just a few years ago - so I don't worry about what other moms or dads migiht say) is WHEN to play tough parent, as in "you have GOT to pull yourself together, get out of bed, make a plan and get to class or we aren't paying for this anymore" and when to realize that DS is just crippled and cannot do the things we hoped he could do, so to take the tough love approach is cruel.  I don't have the answer yet.  But I can tell you that tough love doesn't work with some SN kids.[/quote]

I appreciate your post because often it's just us with kids and teens posting. Does your DS live at home? I am assuming we will need to do this. (Ours has HFA and ADD like yours). I totally understand your dilemma. We need to have high expectations and push them, but not have too high of expectations and we don't want to push them too hard. How do we decide where the line is?

I will tell you I knew one person with HFA growing up (pretty sure, but no dx) and she is independent and doing well, but she matured at a much slower rate than her peers and still seems younger. She has close friends and a boyfriend and she makes much more eye contact than she did back then, but still has many of the quirks.[/quote]

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