Reply to When exactly do I stop paying for my parent's divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is so unacceptable. You and your sister need to play hard and shut this down. They have abdicated their roles as parents, so it's time for you to step in and take that role.

I'd get your sister together and sit your parents down in the same room. It will be more powerful if you can. And then I'd read them the following and then hand a copy of what you say to them:

"Mom and Dad, we love you dearly. And we want you both to have a loving relationship with us and with our children. However, we're done being your punching bags and your pawns.  You chose to stop being married in 1986, but you've made Larla and me pay the price for that. We're stopping that now, and we will not have our children pay the price either.
From this point on, the snide comments about each other stop. From this point on, the guilt-tripping and drama stop. If one of us visits one parent, there are to be no comments whatsoever from the other parent. No verbal comments, no texts, no emails, no comments on Facebook. No pouting, no passive-aggressiveness. Larla and I are done with the competition between you two.
If you choose to ignore this and continue with petty comments, drama and slamming each other, I promise you that you will have no contact with us and with your grandchildren. We've never been more serious about anything than we are now. If a comment is made, we will leave. Phone calls will not be returned. You'll be blocked on all social media. You will not have access to your grandchildren. It's that simple. You can choose to be civil and keep your mouth shut, or you can have a loving, positive relationship with your daughters and grandchildren.

I truly hope you believe Larla and me. We love you, but we love our own children even more. We will not subject ourselves and them to your drama and pettiness."

There's no conversation, no discussion. Say it and be done.  Then wait for one of them to push the envelope. In fact, hope it happens so they can see how serious you really are. Plan for it. Be ready to hang up the phone and then not answer it when a snide comment slips out. Or be ready to walk out of a restaurant when a comment is made. Be ready to block your feed on Facebook. Just follow through. You must teach them how to treat you.

You can do this. If you choose not to do anything, then you choose to give them permission to continue this stupid behavior. 
Good luck. [/quote]
+1 time to change the rules.  Your baby is the perfect excuse.  You will find it easier to do post-baby---babies force most people to grow up.  You'll see yourself as mama-bear and all this other BS will take a back seat because you will insist on it. [/quote]

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